Page: the Return of the Covid Creemee

By Guy Page

The Scott administration seems fixated on the Covid Creemee.

During Tuesday’s press conference, Health Commissioner Mark Levine suggested handing out coupons for free creemees at vaccination centers to entice young people to get vaccinated. 

As with many government proposals, the thought occurs: “interesting idea – but will it work?”

Sure, a creemee – especially the maple creemee, that sexy marriage of our two hometown sweethearts, milk and maple syrup – is yummy. But is it “sure, I’ll let them inject an emergency-approved anti-viral into my body if they’ll give me a creemee” yummy? 

Nothing’s that yummy. 

Eating a creemee after getting vaccinated isn’t like eating oranges after giving blood. Vitamin C helps your body absorb iron, which makes hemoglobin. Creemees have no medical benefit. Unless you mean the mental health benefit of immediate oral gratification chased by a sweet sugar rush. Those benefits are off the charts. 

No, eating a creemee after getting vaccinated is like getting a gift card after voting for Joe Biden (actually happened in Nevada last November). Happy you got the free prize, but wondering if it was the smart move in the long run.  

This isn’t the first time the Covid Creemee has been waved around as a public health incentive by a senior administration official. On September 15, White House Covid-19 advisor Dr. James Fauci appeared via Zoom as a special guest to the twice-weekly press conference. “Dr. Fauci, if you were here in person we’d typically try and sweeten you up with our world class maple syrup or maybe even a maple creemee,” Scott told him. 

The press corps chuckled politely. Several referred to creemees in their questions. Scott repeated the offer to Fauci. Before signing off, Fauci told Scott he’d love to take him up on his offer for a maple creemee, adding that he’s “an avid ice cream fan.”

But alas, Scott’s enticement hasn’t worked. Fauci has yet to make a public visit to the Green Mountain State. (No word on whether the green-and-yellow scarfed Dr. Elizabeth Birx indulged in a creemee during her Oct. 10 visit to UVM.)

It’s not like the politically powerful Washington elite are deaf to the call of the creemee. Vice-President Mike Pence stopped for a maple creemee at the Sudbury Shoppe near Lake Hortonia two Labor Day weekends in a row (2018-19). No doubt he would have made a soft-serve trifecta in 2020 if for the pandemic. 

But that was all upside for Pence. (Although his recent heart surgery might make you wonder if a hard life of too many creemees finally caught up to him.)

So we have both Scott and Levine – #1 and #2 shot-callers, listed in no particular order, for the state’s pandemic and vaccine program – hawking creemees for the Greater Good. 

I think this is about transference. I think that these two gentlemen have been under a lot of stress for over a year. I think it’s time they unwound a little with a Triple Maple Creemee. 

The TMC (as opposed to THC) won’t muddle your mind. Another popular alternative alternative, alcohol, makes you want to hug someone and sing loudly. 

Just think how that would look on the Channel 3 news. 

Someone eating a creemee is unlikely to yell or sing or encroach on anyone’s personal space. Quite the contrary! And as Commissioner Levine in particular is concerned about people singing loudly and unmasked in church, I can assure him that in my lifetime of mostly-regular church attendance, I have never – not once – seen anyone stand up and belt out “Victory in Jesus” while slurping on a creemee. 

So will more young people get vaccinated if they get a coupon for a creemee afterwards? Hmmm….maybe, if they can also be persuaded that eating creemees is good for climate change. 

Photo credit: Phil Scott for Vermont Facebook page, September 2018.

10 replies »

  1. Get a shot of an UNPROVEN vaccine and a Cremee. what a deal!!! and maybe you’ll wake up a BLOOD CLOT in your brain or worse. Some of the SIDE AFFECTS of these MEDS are just plain Scary.

    • But if you’re older or not in good health, becoming very ill or worse from Covid is, thus far, much more likely. Every year, a relatively small number of people die specially because they WERE wearing a seatbelt at the time of a car accident – but typically seatbelts save lives. Nuts, dairy products, shellfish, insect bites, etc. kill hundreds annually. Under the right (or “wrong”) circumstances, people have died from what began as a minor paper cut.

      Virtually nothing in life is 100% safe; including, very tragically, being employed with Fed-Ex last evening at a facility in Indianapolis.

      People need to decide what is best for them, Father.

  2. Well, to give them a deserved plug, I chose to be vaccinated & afterward was rewarded at the site with colorfully-wrapped chocolate Easter eggs from Lake Champlain Chocolates.

    Would have gotten it anyway obviously, as that was my personal choice as stated, but it was a sweet treat.

    • Ridiculous that we are resorting to bribing kids into taking a short term tested vaccine that 99.99% of them DO NOT need at all. The wasted vaccines are paid for by us and so would the ice cream be, and of course the vaccine lasts about 3 to 6 months… Someone is making a lot of money off of covid…

  3. I’d rather get a steak ! But seriously, should you have to bribe or reward people to get the vaccine ? And will a creamee really change the minds of those who have chosen not to get vaccinated at this time ?

  4. I’d sign up to be injected with maple syrup (or even maple cree mee for that matter). Phil can keep his “vaccine”, though.

  5. If I identify as a young person, can I get a creemee?

    I am definitely stuck in the wrong body. A creemee will help.

    In all seriousness, if my 4 kids hear about this I’ll have to offer them two creemees each just to shut up the whining! That means 8 creemees! Thank goodness Papa Joe gave me a big ol’ relief check. It’ll help cover the cost of the creemees. I’ll buy them creemees all summer long if they WON’T get the vaccine. (I am going to do that anyway, but shhhhh … you know how this game is played … )

  6. Count me out! I’ll partake of a maple creemee when I would like to without taking the bribe. Teach them right while they’re young.

    I enjoy giving the gift of life every 8 weeks when the iron levels are good and get a free covid antibody test for good measure. The drinks (water or juice or both!) and snacks are just what the doctor ordered!

  7. This is like a pedophile in luring kids into doing something they are unaware of in order to please/impress/get attention from an adult.

  8. Why the push? Why the bribes? Why the shot to begin with given the stats? This is a ploy that too few are picking up on – WHY? Do not believe any of it! Wake up and keep your precious children (and yourselves) far far away from it all.

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