by Tom Evslin
Actual story in The Wall Street Journal:
“UFO Report Says ‘Unidentified Aerial Phenomena’ Defy Worldly Explanation . Propulsion and technology in some cases exceed present-day scientific knowledge, U.S. officials say”
Anticipated world reaction:
Fox News: This is the entirely forseeable result of the welcome mat Biden has extended to aliens.
CNN: Another toxic legacy of the Trump administration’s ant-science policy surfaces to challenge the new administration.
@realdonaldtrump (if he were allowed to tweet): Now we can see who helped Sleepy Joe steal the election.
Washington Post: Anonymous sources confirm that aliens are here only to witness Jeff Bezos’ historic space flight.
Elon Musk: Their technology is braindead.
Pres. Biden: We are proposing another $5 trillion in spending to prevent panic.
Mitch McConnell: Maintaining the filibuster will prevent panic.
Dr. Fauci: I would have informed Americans of this risk earlier but I was afraid they’d stop wearing masks.
World Health Organization: There is no evidence that there is a risk of airborne contagion. We are seeking permission from the visitors to investigate further.
OAC: The very term “alien” is degrading and another example of toxic white masculinity.
The New York Times: A scientific consensus is emerging that POOW (People of Other Worlds) have been attracted by the buildup of greenhouse gasses in the atmosphere.
Proud Boys: The Jewish conspiracy is galatic (sic).
Antifa: Disarm the police.
Andrew Cuomo: Despite allegations to the contrary, I wouldn’t touch them with a ten-foot pole.
Spokewoman for Israeli Defense Forces: The IDF will respond overwhelmingly to any provocation.
Iranian Ayatollah: The American and Israeli butchers must be made to pay a steep price.
Pres. Putin: The chemists of the KGB have prepared an antidote.
Anonymous hacker: NOTICE TO ALIENS: DO NOT TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER. YOUR ROUTE HOME HAS BEEN ENCRYTED. IMMEDIATE PAYMENT IN BITCOIN IS REQUIRED.
Republished from blog Fractals of Change by Tom Evslin of Stowe – author, entrepreneur, and former Vermont state official.
Photo: US Navy footage of UFO