By Ted Cohen
If you’re lactose intolerant and too dainty for bone-chilling cold, fuhgeddaboudit.
Forget about moving to Vermont, that is.
A freelance writer from the Green Mountain State has crafted an essay for OnlyInYourState.com as a “public service” for wannabe transplants.
Kristin Grimes titled the piece “16 Reasons Why You Should Never, Ever Move to Vermont.”
Grimes speaks the language as a Vermont convert. She openly describes herself as “a Vermont transplant.”
So she’s a good one to heed when it comes to Vermont’s downsides.
Among the top killers? The high taxes and frigid weather.
“Be prepared to sell everything you own just to afford to live here,” Grimes warns. “The cost of living … ranks among the worst aspects of living in Vermont.”
Moreover, “We have too much snow. If you can’t embrace the white stuff all winter, then life in Vermont will be a bit challenging for you.
“And if you can’t handle the cold, you certainly can’t handle Vermont,” she says. “Vermont is one of the coldest states in the U.S.”
Then there’s the cheese thing. “Lactose intolerant? You’ll have a hard time. The state is known for its sharp cheddar cheese, and eating it is a must when living here.”
And the roads? Don’t get us started.
“Driving can be positively frightening,” Grimes reports. “Sometimes even the potholes have potholes.”
And perhaps the ultimate humiliation moving to Vermont? “You’ll always be considered a flatlander.
“If you weren’t born in Vermont, you’re a flatlander. Even if you moved here one day after you were born, you’re a flatlander. This rule is strict and unwavering. If you can’t handle this one, you probably won’t be able to handle moving to Vermont. Period.”
Grimes is secretly a huge fan of Vermont so maybe she’s just subliminally trying to keep it all to herself by highlighting its lower peaks.
Typical Vermont transplant…